Boredom isn’t the bad guy
As summer break is in full swing, parents often find themselves juggling various (increasingly-expensive!) activities and structured programs to keep their teenagers engaged throughout the holidays. While it's natural to prioritize stimulating and enriching experiences, it's essential to recognize the value of boredom in a teenager's life. As a therapist who specializes in adolescents, I’ve seen time and time again that allowing teenagers to experience and embrace boredom during summer break can be a powerful tool for their personal growth and development.
What is boredom, anyway?
To truly understand the significance of boredom, we need to establish a clear definition. Boredom can be defined as a state of unoccupied or unstimulated mind, characterized by a lack of interest or engagement in one's immediate surroundings or activities. While it may seem counterintuitive to encourage boredom, especially during a time when parents strive to provide an exciting summer experience, boredom serves as an invitation for teenagers to explore their inner worlds and engage with their environment in a different way.
The benefits of this unstimulated time are many. Boredom acts as a catalyst for creativity. When teenagers are not bombarded with external stimuli, their minds are free to wander, allowing their imagination to flourish. It is during these idle moments that they may find inspiration for art, writing, or other forms of self-expression. Too often we bemoan the amount of time that our teens spend on screens, but are quick to try to replace that time with structured activities. Encouraging teens to explore unstructured, creative outlets during summer breaks can lead to the development of unique talents and enhance problem-solving skills.
Boredom also provides teenagers with an opportunity to reflect on their emotions, thoughts, and desires. Without the constant distractions, they can gain a deeper understanding of their own internal landscape. This self-awareness nurtures emotional intelligence, enabling them to manage their emotions more effectively and build healthier relationships with others. Teenage-hood is a confusing and complicated time. Identities are forming, peers are experimenting, and our teens are often asking themselves, “Who am I? Where do I fit into all this?” Introspection allows our teens time to begin to get to know themselves, and identify their own likes and dislikes.
During unstructured periods, teenagers have the chance to discover their interests, passions, and strengths. Boredom motivates them to seek new experiences, try different hobbies, and step out of their comfort zones. By embracing boredom, teens can develop a sense of independence, confidence, and self-reliance as they learn to navigate their own interests and curiosities. Additionally, in today's fast-paced world, constant stimulation from technology and activities can lead to mental exhaustion and burnout. Boredom acts as a reset button, allowing teens to recharge their minds and reduce stress levels.
So, how do we let our kids be bored?!
Encourage your teenager to have unstructured time during summer break—and talk to them about this! Provide them with periods of the day where they have no planned activities or obligations. While there may be complaints, it is absolutely appropriate to explain to your children why unstructured time is important. Remind them that while screens/camps/etc. are “more fun,” this time allows them to explore their interests freely and engage in self-directed learning.
Also critical to “boredom success” is the promotion of activities that involve minimal screen time. Encourage your teenager to read books, engage in physical activities, practice mindfulness or meditation, or explore outdoor hobbies like gardening or photography. For this to be possible, you may need to employ limits on your child’s screen time. Encourage your family to have an open and honest discussion in order to identify how much screen time is appropriate for your child.
And, sometimes creativity needs a kick-start. Provide resources and materials for your teenager to explore their creative side. Whether it's painting supplies, musical instruments, or writing journals, give them the tools they need to express themselves and channel their imagination. Finally, encourage your teenager to ask questions and explore areas of interest. Visit local museums, attend workshops, or encourage them to participate in community projects. Nurturing their curiosity helps them develop a love for lifelong learning.
In today's hyper-connected and fast-paced world, allowing teenagers to experience boredom during summer break can be a precious gift. By embracing idle time, teens can tap into their creativity, cultivate emotional intelligence, foster self-discovery, and enhance their overall well-being. As parents, it is crucial to strike a balance between structured activities and unstructured downtime, providing teenagers with the freedom to explore their interests and embrace boredom as a catalyst for personal growth. So this summer, let's embrace the power of boredom and watch our teens flourish in unexpected and remarkable ways.
Here's to a bored and brilliant summer,
Dr. Ann