Surviving family vacations
Summer vacations are a time for families to relax, bond, and create lasting memories. However, the reality is that summer vacations can also be a source of stress for parents. From planning and budgeting, to managing expectations and ensuring everyone has a good time, it's no wonder that family stress levels can rise during this time. As a therapist who understands the importance of family well-being, I’m going to share with you some of the tools I give my families at this time of year.
Start with Open Communication:
Before embarking on your summer vacation, gather your family and have an open conversation about expectations, preferences, and limitations. Encourage each family member to express their thoughts and desires for the vacation. By involving everyone in the decision-making process, you create a sense of shared ownership, making it more likely that everyone will enjoy the trip. We often want our kids to have a sense of gratitude for family vacations—or at bare minimum, a lack of hostility! But the reality is that our kids and teens may have different desires and expectations of family vacations. Being able to set aside our expectations can lay the road for an open, honest conversation.
Plan Ahead, but Remain Flexible:
While it's essential to plan the logistics of your vacation, it's equally important to embrace flexibility. Unexpected situations may arise, and rigid plans can quickly lead to frustration and stress. Allow room for spontaneity and unexpected detours, as these often lead to some of the most memorable experiences. Remember, the purpose of a vacation is to unwind and create positive connections, so don't let a strict itinerary overshadow the joy of being together. For those families with older children and teens, try letting your child pick a few of the activities. This increases excitement and engagement.
Budget Wisely:
Financial strain can be a significant stressor during vacations. Set a realistic budget in advance and involve your family in the discussion. Teach your children about responsible spending and involve them in activities that promote financial literacy. To avoid the “Can we buy this, that, and the other?” debate, provide your children with a reasonable daily amount of spending money. How they choose to spend it is up to them, but when they’re out, they’re out! This provides your children and teens with natural consequences, and teaches them about budgeting their spending.
Practice Self-Care:
As parents, it's crucial to prioritize your own well-being during the vacation. Remember that self-care is not selfish but rather an essential component of being an effective and present parent. Set aside some time for yourself each day to recharge and engage in activities that bring you joy. Whether it's reading a book by the pool, taking a relaxing walk, or simply meditating, nurturing your own mental and emotional health will benefit the entire family. It’s important to be “off the clock” sometimes!
Create a Balance of Activities:
Finding a balance between structured activities and downtime is key to reducing stress and keeping everyone engaged and happy. Schedule a mix of exciting outings, such as visits to amusement parks or museums, and more relaxed days where you can simply enjoy the natural beauty of your surroundings. Consider the interests and energy levels of all family members and make adjustments accordingly. Remember that downtime is equally important for rest and rejuvenation. Especially for those families with neurodivergent children (ADHD or Autism), remember that downtime can be key to letting your children’s brains rest, and avoiding meltdowns.
Prioritize Family Bonding:
Amidst the excitement of vacations, it's easy to get caught up in individual pursuits. However, making a conscious effort to prioritize family bonding is crucial. Designate specific times each day for shared activities, such as meals, games, or storytelling. Use this time to reconnect, share laughter, and strengthen your family bonds. Engaging in meaningful conversations and active listening can help deepen your understanding of each other and foster a sense of unity. When traveling with teens, its okay if your child doesn’t want to join you for every single planned activity. Pick and choose together what activities feel like “musts” for the whole family.
Practice Mindful Conflict Resolution:
It's natural for conflicts to arise, even during vacations. Disagreements can occur due to differences in preferences, exhaustion, or misunderstandings. When conflicts arise, approach them with a mindset of mindful conflict resolution. Encourage open and honest communication, active listening, and empathy. Model healthy conflict resolution strategies for your children and help them develop effective communication skills. Remember, resolving conflicts in a respectful manner can strengthen family relationships and create a more harmonious vacation experience.
Embrace Technology Moderation:
While technology can be a valuable tool for entertainment and connection, excessive screen time can hinder family bonding and increase stress levels. Establish guidelines for technology use during the vacation, ensuring that everyone has dedicated technology-free periods. Encourage alternative forms of entertainment and engagement, such as outdoor activities, board games, or creative projects. By reducing screen time and encouraging face-to-face interactions, you can create a more enriching and fulfilling vacation experience.
Summer vacations should be a time for joy, relaxation, and rejuvenation for the whole family. By implementing these expert tips, you can reduce family stress and create lasting memories that bring you closer together. With these strategies in place, you can embark on a summer vacation that nurtures both individual and collective well-being, making it a truly remarkable experience for everyone involved.
Happy travels,
Dr. Ann